Of Morals and everythin' INCI.. Join the Beat...

INCIDENT'08, was poised to be the best inci ever[ ya, the same line repeats every year]. More Cash = Better bands,More events,Bigger Prizes,Loads of fun.. INCI discussions started off with the choice of themes. Some frenchie suggestions to the tone of C'est la vie [ That's life], and "Let there be Delight" were rejected coz they were too corny, or vague. Then someone came up with "Join the beat". Either that it was too good, or probably that we were running out of time, in any case, this was unanimously chosen. And what with that awesome retro disco lookin brochure backdrop[ I bow to thee, Mashaal n Co, for that n I2J ] to justify it, there was no lookin' back.

Inci was on...

Publicity[Highest number of participants], Marketing[Largest Budget ever], and a Bindaas website(s)[speechless]..

.....Many months later
Some days before Inci...
Committees assembled. AF starts working on college ambience[ Yes, you folks can brag about it.You rock]. JuggyD's Master Plans. Soni arranges. Gupta high on LSD
[jus kiddin].

Some intros...

Mulki- son of a beach[ partner in crime]. Budling- Quizzesh, and Littax. P n Me - Birdwatchin, n other mischiefs. [Ya, we were the best, ob. Thnx anyways]. BabukiAand-"Fresh" n Frooty, n always short on coupons. VPdaMan- Jubilant n Responsible. SheldytheBird - SACrificed inebriation. Desai - Hospitalized everyone. Aggarwal- The short Matador. Shenoy - Order ! Order ! MmnOstee Pls. SidDaHermit - Cartman@inci - Super awesome kewl. Appar - DePressed Panda.Devarisi - sirigannadam gelge.G the Hoopla kid - was a treat to see Jinga Play.Murali - Hurrah for Pulse, and easterns.Kattige - Gay-ming .

If your a committee-con and your name isn't in this all-praising list, either I'm out of lame-puns, or I've to belt you for some reason.

Join the Beat.

1. Informalz- Sorry to say, this has been the worst informalz in the incis that I've seen, and judging by the remarks of the seniors that happen to visit during inci-time, extends to the incis that I haven't seen as well. It lacked that pizazz, that extempore nonsense, that knack of keeping the crowd involved, and mostly turned out to be cricketing sessions between committee members. The very fact that NITK junta chose JAM over informals [ which is good btw ] , is proof enough. Anyways, it was way,way better than FREEFALL-which lived upto its name. So, no significant harm done..

2. Xpose & Photography cLub: Due to certain observations made by certain people of merit, this section has been removed. Photography Club simply rocks man.. You guys are the best..

3.Inci Force- Last year, the worry was "Who'll police, the police?". This year,it was mostly " Where's the Police?".
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It is at this juncture that I sadly mention the cheap, and indecent attitude shown by the NITK crowd towards the Shankar family. We boast of being the best of the best, the cream and other such hogwash, but even that basic civic sense, courtesy towards invited guests is not present here. Some third-rate bastard[ the most appropriate word possible], chooses to insult Jun.Shankar's sis, n mother. Get some dignity,people. It is highly unfortunate that when I say this to the NITK junta, since I'm one of them, even I've to bow down in shame.

Desperation, I call it. Hooting at every other female that comes on stage, with the choicest of words. Ok, almost everyone does it at various degrees. I don't claim to be a saint either. But, public decorum is what is asked for, and I think we being all intellectually sound, and future responsible societal creatures n all that, should at least keep these tiny facts in mind.

Everything's never rosy,I agree. But these tiny blemishes stood to ruin such a well crafted fest, and it was something no one wanted. Anyway, people soon realized, and the gem that was Jun.Shankar continued his show. Hats off to you, man. For the full-house show at SJA, and for the packed house Workshop in the morning. We can't thank you enough.

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Gen Review:

Some critiques are already floating around, the good ones being wanderlust's, N.R's n kittis. Choose to read them.

Yours truly being the workshops convenor, supported by His Holiness Saint-P, had only one thing in mind before Inci. To bring out a transformation in the way workshops@Inci were perceived by the audience. And if I'm not mistaken, we did succeed[ 5 / 6 :-) ]. Owing to a brilliant reco from Saranya, a kite making n flying workshop materialized. And kudos to Choukkar for introducing us to a genius in Mr.Akhtar Husein, who conducted the Nature Conservation workshop, the success of which many were skeptical about[ many=me], but in the end turned out to be one interesting session.

Koochie the kid beat me to set up the sand modelling workshop.[ Kannada Sahitya Sammelan, Same spot, One day difference]. I don't give a damn. It was one of the best fun events this college has seen. Mr. Srinath,Venki n team, from Manipal were very friendly and receptive to our requirements, and spread their message through the huge structure that they'd built.
The greatest committee's extra-ordinary members,generously helped by P's friends went on to build "The Taj Pyramid", which saw intermediate forms of the globe, Petronas towers, an Onion, Ditchable Failure, and finally Ta-da....
The Magic workshop [ All you want to know, but no tricks explained], kept all of us eagerly waiting for the next trick. Jun.Shankar, charming as usual, with his radiant smile, n that spark in his eye, managed to captivate the audience[the female ones, in particular]. We were literally amazed when Ronnie the Great, and Gokul the Bald, performed tricks, using "magical" powers hitherto unknown to them. Ya, sure, We'll be calling you guys next year.
Casino Reuda, the weirdest of all names, with the added twist of having a "partner switch" clause attached , turned out to beat all previously held Inci records, and if it were not for the fact that most couples were working in some darn committee, we'd have broken the currently held IE record as well.
As per most accounts, I was shabbily dressed, and did not match in elegance to Her Majesty. Extremely sorry about that.
In any case, it was amazing fun, albeit extremely complex, and that chap shouting insane mexican chants at random times dint help much.
My first western duet dance ever,this is something I shall certainly remember for life. Thank you.

Team Mangalore is one creative bunch of hobby kite enthusiasts, who have been in this field for years now. They had got the largest kite in India, "Kathakali" and we were in awe witnessing its whopping extent. Seeing loads of colourful kites flying above the NITK beach, was truly one beautiful sight. I was running to the beach to catch it, and in the meantime,got some 10 calls to come and check it out. Ya, Mulky , you can give me a treat anytime you want.

The remaining workshop has not been reviewed intentionally.

I thank all of Team workshops, who were there at all times, the work being official, or even stacking up sand, having fun at the beach, or running around to get arbit stuff from random locations. It wouldn't have been as good, without your support.

Ok, So much for bragging, and pompous claims.Lets start with the Inci review now..

The events that I attended were very few, and I was pretty choosy about them. Qualified in India quiz as a part of the trio [Logikittashish], and came last in the finals[ Drumroll missing]. Really good quiz, but one small piece of advice. Every quizzer in India is not a TAMkid, in case you dint realize. So, while the M.S.S , n Visa Balaji bits were fine, asking trinity questions about Cholan and Pandyan weirdo temples are not. And,before you jump, I don't know my history, and I don't give a rat's bottom.

JAM, this time had house full response, and Brat was surprised to see that. I did not participate, but did something that I love the most. Threw paper balls at Mr.Kaya, along with an accomplice, for something stupid that he uttered.
Highlights: Kaya's robot dance, the arbit girl forgetting to dance each time, Jenna Jameson in Agra, Attempted Objections to JAM Master flirting excessively with a participant[ did not happen, though].

And Yay, Bharat Darshan was gay.

And I got to see UV dance, which I'd missed during ENGI. It was unique, not the best of things, but certainly well done. Thank you Mr.D, for your request, and for mentioning only workshops in your inaugural speech.

My KK concert, Pulse, Eastern Musical feelings have been sufficiently captured in the posts mentioned above, and also in my comments that follow there. Some left over bits, here.

All Hail BIT, and that classico-vocal Genius.
Pulse - @ Megha: Whate Voice, lady. You remind me of Ronnie James Dio.
@ 'TamBrahm Google Kid' lookalike alias Death Metal Vocalist: We were completely deceived by your appearance.
@ The guy with the red Jackson Guitar:- Can I have it?







@ Bhoomi's Lead Guitarist: Applause, Bow, The Corna.










Some rumours were floating around.
Pai is here.
Pi is High.
Pi is jammin with his new guitar. etc etc.
Happened to meet him at SAC. Apart from that weird beard, he hasn't changed much. And his lady, the Blue Les Paul was indeed gorgeous. He gave me this Comic-Con badge[ The exhibition that this lucky rat went to, in the U.S].








Ya, It looks worthless, but that's what all souvenirs are, right. Its the person, and the occasion that makes you keep it. And keep it, I shall.
After chatting for a while, he made a dash for it, luckily missing the Fashion Show in the process.

And finally,To sum it up,

We chose Life, Colours, the sunny side, and to Join the Beat.

Incident will be in our memories for ever, for the efforts that we put in, the masti, the let-your-hair-down-freaking out , childish pranks and sheer dumb guts to reach for everything fun, and succeeding.

37 days remaining, the countdown begins. Was mental before, now senti too...

P.S: I did not mention the inner core, coz INCIDENT'08 speaks for their efforts, and that they would not find it punny.

Comments:-

My new Hobby

The frequency of my blog posting , which used to be 1 in 15 days, has now improved to 1 in one month, which has led to wide spread cheers amongst my fans. Arbit works have kept me busy during these days, none of which is any excuse for me not to post new stuff. I'm just lazy.

But, I have developed a new interest off late, in the pursuit of everything arbit. I'm devouring fresh blog content as and when its generated. And most of these blogs are by Bacchas[ for lack of a better word], the new kids on the block. Its fun, you see. We the veterans, the old generation bloggers, get enthused by seeing such new views, emanating from junta hitherto not known to be the elite literati.

Bulla. I'm just jobless man... Nothing more, nothing less..

Either way, I'm still passionate about reading stuff, and then giving my two-penny worth of insights to these people's views. So while hopping across the nitk blogosphere, you might catch my views at Blog 1[I loathe him, but his blog's decent], Blog 2[ decent] , Blog 3[ fiery], Blog 4[sucks] , Blog 5[promising], Blog 6[weird] etc.... Kindly ignore them.


And in case you're wondering if I have a writer's block or something, Do not worry. I don't.
Only good writers get that.

P.S:- The blogs that I read regularly out of genuine interest are missing from this list. You can find them on my blogroll.

P.P.S:-

Lame First year kid:- Yay. Logik's giving out free links. Let me start my blog.
Logik:- Screw you.

Sorry first years, my bad.. " lame" was redundant.

Violated Self...

Rose, Rose, they all yelled,
A flower she ceased to be.
Peace, she is no more.
Why did she believe in Thee?

Fallen from grace,
Oh! The intolerable shame.
Some jeered, some wept.
Hallowed be Thy name.

Alas, 'tis too late.
The bird hath left the cage.
Adieu, Rose. I feel for Thou.
Lord. When will you come of age?

Comments:-

GOD?

A tricky subject, especially something that I don't know much about. But, I'm really intrigued by the whole concept. Questions like, What if He did exist , come to mind... Ok, Most of you would have realised that I've an atheistic bent of mind. For the rest, here goes, I'm an atheist, i.e , a non-believer in the existence of God, various theologies etc....

But I really love the concept. Having the notion of a supreme controller, the ultimate being, all powerful, all pervading, yada yada..brings in a sense of self-restraint among individuals. But my feeling is that ,when you let your fate to be decided by someone else, only to face the implications, it could either bring in that permanent sense of self-consciousness [ in a bad kinda way], or might make you immensely nonchalant about the whole process.

I have some doubts however. It is often seen in religious books, that God is referred to as "He" [ apparently its blasphemy if you don't put the capital 'H' ]. I wonder why Gods are not represented by 'She'. But that's a trivial doubt. One might argue that major prophets, messiahs were male, and keeping with the standard terminology, its 'He'.

But how foolish must we be to assign such meaningless attributes such as gender, a concept that is so trivially mortal, to a character that we so seriously visualize to be much higher than us.

I believe agnostics are the worst kind of people. The most fickle minded of them all. I have nothing against believers. To each his own. But the kind of people that say.. " I don't believe that there is a God or anything , But I do believe that there is a Supreme Force that controls our thoughts and actions, and the universe in general; ". Tell you what... Screw you guys. Get some balls. and jump to one side.

For if the notion of the supreme force were to be remotely true, shouldn't we refer to God as "It", with a capital "I". Examples in religious literature would probably include, "It saves", " It will forgive you ", " It knows what you're doing " etc ... Man, that would seriously turn some heads, and primarily sound like some corny line from a M.Night.shyamamamalan movie....

Belief is a disposition, not something to be enforced upon. It should be a cumulative set of self reflections that you perceive over time. Something that will make you think about your actions, the consequences, about life, the universe and everything else. If you need a God to guide you on that path, well, good for you. If you somehow think you can manage on your own, that's good too... But if keep looking for support when you need it, and then be a pompous ass later, you seriously suck....

Ok.. That might have sounded like I was preaching from my bottom. But its an issue that I really like and amd passionate about. Feel free to disagree.


P.S: This post has substituted another ; something that was to be titled "GRE chombu".. and would complete the chombu trilogy. i.e, GATE, and CAT. But unfortunate for many perverse readers who dwell on other people's miseries, it was not to be...[ fading drumroll....]...

Cheerio...

Comments:-

The Chronicles of Bengaluru Part I : The CAT

Listening to:- Harry Chapin- CAT's in the cradle.

Disclaimer:- No cats were harmed during the making of this post.

Management is an illusionary subject.It gives you dreams, the whole " I'm the Boss " feeling, and that fat cheque too. The IIM brand is something too powerful to resist, and every TDH wants a share of the pie. And what does he/she have to do for this?. Pretty simple actually. Get through an exam , some GD's and interviews later, and IIM it is.
All's well, but 2.5 lakh buggers think the same.

So here I was , in good ol' Bengaluru to write an entrance exam which goes by the name of Common Aptitude Test.
Let me clarify some things. I DID NOT PREPARE. I DON'T GIVE A DAMN. It was something close to a timepass kinda situation. But some funny and/or noteworthy incidents made this trip memorable.

Lots of plans were made well before the exam, though daily fluctuating, finally turned out to be great.Plans regarding Birthday celebrations, Bangalore roaming, place of stay, things to purchase, and last and definitely the least , about the actual exam.

Infinite thanks to Saranya for allowing me n tarkari to stay at her place. You Rock..

Now that the Mangalore-Bengaluru trip sucks big-time, its a pain to travel.Landed at 10a.m, and was in Jayanagar by 4.00..Was hopelessly lost, yet managed to come to a landmark location. Saranya then came cruising on her Rambo [ that's an activa , not a horse btw ] to pick me up. So I was finally there. There was a brief intro session, and after we and her parents got acquainted, we started timepassing over the T.V.

The day before any major exam, people usually turn into scaredy-CATs, and usually behave like a CAT on hot bricks. We , went out to eat. Jayanagar, is thankfully, still a great place to hang out, what with Cool-joints, hot-chips etcetera.

Around an hour before midnight, we felt it was our moral obligation as studious souls to see what this exam is actually about. So glancing through T.I.M.E, we managed to know the names of the sections of the exam, which was really helpful. So, if, ... if... any result actually comes out of this, then-IN YOUR FACE, Two-year sloggers.

An interesting co-incidence , was that the day of the exam [ 18th november] , happened to be her B'day. So in spite of repeated warnings to sleep asap, we decided to stay up late. We dint dare give any GPL's, for fear of being kicked out of the house, and also coz it was a favour returned :-) [ thanks ], but wished her none the less.

A warning to all readers who might come across a situation of sleeping in the same room as Anup [ pai, et al ], He snores...I dint have a decibel meter on me, but it sure kept me awake through the night, fully prepared for the adventures on the next day. And the one hour that I actually got a faint hint of what could be perceived as sleep, was disturbed by his lousy alarm. Whate friend.

So on the big-day, we set out as heroes about to face the greatest test, with nothin to shield us from the horrors that lay ahead. After adequate styling, n the sumptuous breakfast, we took our route info from her parents, and embarked on the journey that would last around 4 hours, and would in no manner change our lives in anyway.
Wishes for good luck kept pouring in. I wish they knew.

My center was at The OXFORD College of Engineering, Hosur Road. Give it to the nature of intrepid bangaloreans to name their two-penny institutions after great university towns. The result - Oxford P.U.College, Cambridge Higher Primary, and Stanford English school, gorguntepalya. Ya, I know the branding helps in fooling the junta, but ain't there a limit? The situation is very similar to MIT - " Manipal Institute of technlogy", " Moodlakatte Institute of technology", blah blah.

And the hopelessly lost person that I am, the only thing missing in this adventure was a mix-up. And I had to do that too. So, the second I mentioned Oxford, the rickshaw chap took me to oxford group of institutions. And that was a sodding center too. Met snigdha there. Thankfuly she realised that this ain't my center, and in about 5 minutes so did I.

Due to meticulous planning, and the above mentioned snoring effects, we'd left pretty early. So there was ample time for me to rush to the actual center. Roads are something to be proud of in Bangalore. Ditto about the auto-drivers[ except the last one]. I was there with 20 mins to spare.
Just then wanderlust messages me good luck, n asks about my center. Apparently she came to know of my blunder , courtesy snigdha, and the fact that oxford school was her alma mater. I was actually surprised when she told bout the j.p.nagar mistake, and was foolish enough to assume that it could be a common blunder.

About my actual center, nice place. Huge campus. and lots of cat junta. Met arkesh, mysore n zulla. Zulla with his usual charm told that he was high the previous day. Went inside the exam hall, to witness something really surprising.

Apparently as a part of a scientific experiment on gullible individuals, the campus management had decided to play music via the personal address system, in the tension filled moments before the exam. And the playlist- " Nagumomu Ganaleni ", " Brahmam Okatey" , " Krishna nee begane baro" etc. The junta was furious, and apparently the experiment had not had its effect. The general complaint was that it was classical. I frowned that it was fusion :) ; Finally an amicable solution was sought, that being no music would be played during the exam. Duh ..

For me it was the first cat paper. No simcats, aimcats, tomcats etc, so I friggin' dint care for a pattern change, but apparently the old-timer female sitting next to me guessed it was a screwing paper, the moment we got it. And she was right.

Having lost touch attempting quality math, the quant section became pretty time-consuming. I was not aware of strategies, and went about solving each and every question, like the naive kid that I am. Verbals was a breeze , atleast that's the hope. The section that people were fearing the most , Data interpretation turned out to be very easy. Too simple infact. But, owing to my excessive interest in going through the poetry in the verbal section, I couldn't manage enough time to do justice to the D.I.

So after the gruelling few hours, I left Oxford for good. Came back to saranya's place. A great birthday feast was waiting for us. Watched the all-time awesome movie - DON [ the non-lame, original version]. Some timepassing in jayanagar later, with a healthy mixture of purchasing n window-shopping. The day was about to end. We bade farewell to our generous hosts, and set out, as shadows in the night, not knowing which direction the majestic - MAJESTIC lies.

Concluding remarks:- We were really grateful that this year the CAT was not let out of the bag. Ok. Enough of catty idioms. Time for me to sign off.

Cheerio...
Listening to:- Kishore Kumar - CAT... CAT...CAT.. Maane billi..

More Crap.....

Why do people rant? Why? Why?.... I always believe, don't keep complaining about stuff- Be the change.
If something is utter bull-shit, make it better.. Then some might brightly point out. What about this blog?... Well, can't you see? I'm working on it...
True, this stuff might seem like its nonsense, and the only part that made some sense to you was the fact that I just said " its nonsense", but c'mon give me a break.
Lots of people have said lots of things about the way I write, the way I talk, and basically 'the way I am' . Constructive criticism aside, its most to do with Reductio ad Hitlerum , with people spewing comments just because I've something to do with it. Screw you guys.
True this may not be a web-log [ blog for short ] , in its truest definition, coz I dont tend to spill out my deepest secrets, personal cravings, morbid fascinations , erudite memoirs , or the likes... But seriously, who cares.
Its free webspace. Its between me and google, me and wordpress , whatever. Who the hell are you to bother, what I do with it?.
Oh. But I do.... coz you, my readers, the esteemed audience , the all-mighty critics have looked down upon my works as if it were scum of the universe types. Where have I gone wrong?
I write for myself, but it'd surely help if some pitiful soul glances over this once in a while and gives his two-penny's worth of comments, over what's good , and what's bad, but most importantly what's ugly .

A great quote from South Park comes to mind:- " If you don't crap the crap , then it is not a crap". It makes no sense what so ever, and is not the least bit related to this article. I just included it coz it was in the same episode as the title of this post.

See, here's where the problem lies in. I deviate a lot. With lots of earth-shattering, ball-breaking views with me, I tend not to express it so well, as to convey anything significantly meaningful to the other end. Maybe I've got to change.Maybe I will....

The thing is this :- any piece of writing that happens to be one of your contributions, be it this blog, some essay, a poem , or even a well-thought and painstakingly edited article on Wikipedia. When I see some illogical, irrational , and mainly stupid remarks about them, under a thin veil of constructive criticism, it just drives me insane. I'm sure some of you'd agree. To the others , sod off :-) ;

See, I managed a successful rant. I'm one of you now.... See, what you've turned me into, you lousy freaks.

P.S :- The author of this article was in perfectly sober conditions when this master-piece was created. Any signs of temporary lunacy, or influences of intoxications maybe attributed to his natural charisma. Thank you, one and all for having made it this far. Till next time -> Get lost.

Comments:-

And the deal is done.....

Yes you read it right, the deal of the century which is going to revolutionize the field of electronics just took place recently.

Who are the players, you may ask. Davangere Semiconductors ™, a fully private company founded and funded by Takal, has just acquired Dinga Electronics ™ founded by Logik [ that's me you dolts]. Well, this is kinda funny , as both the firms don't exist as of now. Why this empty boast then?. Coz, We're jobless visionaries<=>Phinal Years.
A little bit into the history and planned future of the two companies.

Davangere Semiconductors™ is a venture to be started by Rakesh Babu Grrr.[ Takal ], whose primary mission is to create a fabrication plant in Davangere and give permanent employment assurances to all kicked-out-from-D'gere and returned from NITK alumnis. As a side business it also plans to make potato chips, to further the cause of rural employment. The future of this company is quite shady as self-proclaimed CMD/CEO/Chief Mentor Shiverbay[ a.k.a bevarsi, a.a.k.a Sad-anand], has a cunningly cunning plan to get takal into a freakish-fatal accident, involving a trained house-fly, an old banian, and a photo of takal. About the finer details, I think you'll have to contact shiverbay itself.
After that the mascot of D'gere Semi will be a moulded bust of Takal[ alias Super-Tux]. Nothin much busty to boast about, but the company is expected to reach greater heights after this strategic demise. A statue of the above-mentioned mascot[ image hidden for leeegal purposes] would be placed in front of the company headquarters in Davangere to encourage budding entrepreneurs, into not doing similar blunders.
E-Porya zindabad.
Useless Trivia: An important part of the work-culture is Davangere Benne-Dose. It is an integral part of the company success.

Dinga Electronics™, on the other hand, has presently no plans to make it big. A company to be started by the world-famous Logik[ notice the third person jactitation, Me does that a lot; get used to it ], has the primary aim of fooling some venture-capitalists into shelling out big-bucks. Our mascot is Dinga™, the world-famous cartoon character from a kannada
comic.


Well, the brand image is immediately obvious, as we plan to do nothing serious.The catchy name offers to be a cult-phenomenon in Karnataka very much alike to APPLE™.To be rolled out products include D-Phone ,D-Mail, and D'oh . We plan to take Google head-on. And our motto shall be " DO no good ". We think that plagiarism is the future, and thoroughly encourage it in controlled environments.
Trivial Trivia: Our head quarters shall be in Udupi, which is famous for Goli-Baje.

Anyway, the deal was simple, they buy us out. And what's more, I'm being offered the post of Chief-Peon at the new company, aptly named Davangere Dinga™. The first task after the merger[ not acquisition, you dumbrats], would be the creation of
Goli-Dose, which is said to overturn the way we think about the side-effects of keeping the highest density of semi-retarded graduates at a single spot. Can't wait for all this to happen. Keepin my toes crossed.

Cheerio...

P.S:- Happy B'day to me,[ 21 years and counting.... ], Similar Wishes to N.R, Raveena Tandon, Hillary Clinton and all other arbits who happen to share the distinction of saying " Hello World", on this day...

P.P.S:- Vishal Patel is Baaack after two n half years... and he mentions Sunil Pai on his site... Since being a fan of both these god-level writers, this happens to be a special week for me...

A signing off haiku....

The Clock Strikes Twelve...

My bottom hurts.

GNU Public License

Swar Sagar By Praveen Godkhindi

The sound from a flute is mesmerizing, and when played by certain gifted geniuses, gives the rasikas a feel of intense joy, or allows one to enjoy the depth presented by the gloomy blues kinda composition- a feeling brought about by the choice of the raga, the occasion, and the rendition.

By some good karma , I had been to mangalore with a good friend of mine[1], who had an extra ticket to the Praveen Godkhindi concert. The extra ticket belonged to another good friend[2], who is out in bengaluru right now, and couldn't make it due to a GREat academic rush [ Best of luck].
Anyways, this concert is part of a state-wide tour by the famous flautist trio; three generations playing together on stage. Master Shadaj Godkhindi,Sur-Mani Praveen Godkhindi and Pandit Venkatesh Godkhindi.

The programme is called Swar Sagar, conducted by Aalap events & Media. An innovative idea, getting three generations under one roof, connected by a common skill to display their unique edge at playing the Bansuri. This was held at the T.M.A. Pai Convention Centre in Mangalore. A huge auditorium with the architecture of a skydome, and with the lighting set to give the ambience of a night sky.

The performance began with a solo piece from Master.Shadaj in the Raag Hansadhwani. He has picked up the art pretty well, drawing from techniques that his father usually displays. He might not be a child prodigy, yet given that he is 6 , he is sure to make a mark in the world of music in the times to come. The rendition was deep, and carried with grace. His high swaras are not yet upto mark, and he is yet to cope up with playing at a high pace, both of which can be easily improved considering the company in which he is in. Hansadhwani is not an easy Raag to pull off, hence the effort was commendable.

The next item was the center-piece of the show, the trio performance. The Raag chosen was Yaman, to be played in two gats. As each performer , with the tabla being the fourth element, played their piece, the audience was spell-bound at the family's talents.As the tempo increased, and the four players converged to the last beat , we realised that we saw a really unique , and spectacular performance. With co-ordination brought about solely by experience, the flow between the various artists was very smooth.

One of the advantages as well as drawbacks of being regularly exposed to SPIC MACAY concerts is that, after witnessing brilliant, inspiring performances, with well-behaved , and a cultured audience, we find it tough to fully appreciate concerts in which the audience keeps moving about or the stage is set to include various special effects, lightning etc. That concentration, the oneness with the music is hard to get, with all these nonsense floating around. This stands as an appeal to the organisers.

The famous fusion band "Krishna" performed next. Godkhindi is involved with this band for a number of years now, and they've collaborated with a number of lead artists, showing the diversity as well as similarity that exists between various forms, hindusthani, carnatic, and western. Praveen Godkhindi, having learnt the styles of different gharanas, as well as exposed to carnatic shaili, can adapt to various genres with ease. They played raag Bhoop / Mohana , and then the famous composition Midnight trek which I think was in the Raag Malkhauns.

The artist took some time to interact with the audience on issues close to him. He brought up the issue of commercial concerts. Should there be ticket versions of concerts, or should they be of a " free- show" variety. He mentioned that artists get an extra impulse to perform if he is monetarily supported, even if it's nominal. Agreed. The rasikas should be patrons to the artists. Then he said that the audience are more involved coz they've paid for it. That, I feel was utter nonsense. People who've taken pains to take the tickets, come there for the love of the art, to see great musicians perform, to enjoy, and be inspired from the music. If it was free, many more interested people would have been part of the audience, that's all.

Over-all a memorable evening, getting to see an artist perform live, whose music for me was so far limited to mp3's.[ not a patron, in this case; me sorry]

P.S:-
[1]- Aparna
[2]- Saranya

P.P.S- In case you're wondering why I've added so many references in my post, that's coz I've been reading a hajaar research papers of late.

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Rakhi, A beautiful concept, and an idiot's first name

One of the most apt Indian festivals, is the Raksha Bandhan. Affection, Respect, Responsibility all rolled into one.
Due to "a series of unfortunate incidents", I was miserably broke last week. With barely enough money just to go back home, I didn't have the capability or courtesy to get the usual gifts , which would be Mr.Cadbury's and a Gandhi-100+ .
So after the ceremonial proceedings, I chose to give my sis a token amount of Rs.10, with assurances of goodies later.[ I don't ask money from my parents for this, in case u were wondering,senseless ethics at arbit times is one of my key virtues]
Guess what my sis tells me... " atleast give me something more than the price of the rakhi"...
Oh the pretty angel has learnt economics now.... How enchanting.....I'm stunned...A wisecrack , utterly humiliating though it was... still made me realise that how pathetic I was...
Boasting of a 4.5 Lakhs p.a job, getting good money for my internship, n not a penny in hand...I blame nothing but my rotten luck.....
Oh , frowning fortune, You cursed fickle dame.......

P.S:- Rakhi Sawant= Patheticus Maximus........

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Pre Placement Peshaab....

The reason I use the 'P' word is 'coz it definitely ain't talk man.... Every day , a new company comes to our esteemed college, from some god-forsaken part of this planet, usually bengaluru-electronic city. Their main purpose being to recruit a fresh batch of mindless drones. As a part of this there is a propaganda session , that intends to bamboozle the audience into believing that this company is the best for them. yada yada...
A typical PPT...
Mr.L or Mr.Potter [ the proctologist ] gives a lame introduction , which goes something like this.. " It's my pleasant duty [ ? ] to welcome the officials from XYZ. I'll give the mike over to this chap over here. You'll get to know the job profile, work culture , and compensation package etc. "
A formal dressed employee, trying to look n sound as frood as possible [ look for officials with long hair, or that krecian alumni beaming look, or something inherently yo about themselves, they usually do the presentations , couldn't figure out why. An interesting exception being the Brigadier.Arbit from Hamburger corporation ]

Warning :- Prepare for an intense brain cleansing ritual.....A resemblance to any company is totally intentional.

Howdy folks, We're the guys from Changu Mangu Associates . We're a leading Mnc. We've offices in Timbuktu, Botswana, Reykjavik, Chin-Puk-Lan, Tasmania, Somalia. We've recently started India operations. Our Indian office is being setup at Gorkhaland.
Suddenly an inquisitive jobless [ read: unplaced ] individual , wakes from his slumber to ask a question. " What do you guys exactly do ? " The guy holding the mike suddenly turns Deep Purple, and passes the mike over to his juniors. They clearly hadn't expected this question.
So , this new recruit says, " That's a real good question, You guys are good", Recruit throws him a fancy thermos flask - bright red.Kiddo turns pink . A beaming smile on the kiddo's face.

Soon a video starts, Its Prathibha Patil doing the Macarena.The audience applauds. A standing ovation. Suddenly someone shrieks, "Look one more video", Man they're good. This one apparently showing the employee perspective. Carefully chosen, paid/tortured/ultra-hot chicks / alpha-nerds , appear in this one, telling why joining this company was my ambition since I started schooling, or that we play TT, watch Tv, go out on trips , /*flirt in the office*/, have regular fashion shows/ Guitaring sessions etc .... [ WORK ? anyone? ]

Then comes the section that everyone is waiting for, heck, its the only sodding thing that everyone's here for anyway. The "compensation package". [ Innocent ignorant engineers are now most often found boasting with fancy terms like gross, insurance,ESOP, laptops etc. ]

Next we get to see some goodies a.k.a free publicity. The sole purpose of most kiddos is to collect as many items before being placed. A bag, a keychain, a topi , a job [ :) ] etc.

After all this nonsense, we have the actual placement routines.Gapti,Capti,n all that crap. The survivors move on to the next round, which would be the interview if its a good company, else there would be GD's, Russian Roulette and all sorts of other elimination procedures.

If everything goes well, you could dream of that nice paycheque at the end of the year. Your future is set.

You would also see the walloping bill of the n-hajaar+1 treats, that made you realise that you had so many friends [ Brutus et al ]. A nasty kick to the buttocks, that the junta refer to as the GPL,the main reason for us being so humble and down to earth, is also duly bestowed at the blocks.It's then that you realise that there are other things that you've got to think about. Projects, GRE, Incident, Engineer, and of course Final year timepass.
Your present is reset.

Final Remarks:- Placement dept.rocks. PC's too....
Cheerio....
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Some useful Web Services

Here are some pretty useful internet services/sites, that I stumbled upon while browsing through the vast Internet Multi verse.

Google Portrait:- This is not a Google service as of now. It is maintained by IDIAP[ Institut Dalle Molle d'Intelligence Artificielle Perceptive], However it uses the Google image database for content retrieval.
This is a face recognition /portrait returning service developed by Dr. Sebastien Marcel . Being an image processing aficionado, I loved the service. You can type any celebrity's name in this [ currently abhishek upadhya is not supported thought], and before you can say 'google' , the results are there. The wise say, 'seeing is believing', which is kinda obvious for images. Hence I'll show you some results that I checked.
The service also provides a link to the original image, and the hosting domain, and only the face part of the result.
Some queries :- Manmohan Singh, George Bush , Amitabh Bacchan , Borat
I don't know the details of the algo, but it seems to cross reference with real portraits. as the borat example shown above , has him standing next a bunch of scantily-clad girls... and only his face his shown.

I recently got a Nokia 2865 CDMA cellphone[ many reasons, MOTO sucks, No sony here, Any person with a love for photography, would automatically detest Cellphones that people claim to also work as a camera. I mean, at 2MP, 2x zoom, that's a joke, and a sick one at that. Plus I own a Cool NIKON CoolPix [ see, it;s in the name too] ], hence bought this phone]

This has 3G browsing options[also mp3, H.264, mpeg playback] . So,I began scouting for mobile resources-softwares , ringtones.wallpapers etc... Here's a list of useful services.
Almost all major sites now have wap versions. Use them.

Google Mobile:- I mean google has to be there in every field right.. This site gives access to various google services like, google search, Gmail [ ya]... Picasa, and google calendar.The site's secure.. And It's Google.
Free Ringtones:- This site provides free Mp3 and polyphonic ringtones[ amr format too, wav coming soon]. A searchable interface, plus wap enabled. Just search your tone from your comp, get an access code. go to the wap front end on your cell phone, type the access code.. And it's free. You can download to your pc and transfer as well.

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Jammu Kashmir... Jammu Kashmir...

This post is dedicated to Jakra- a friend, a Guide, a fellow porkibaay, and who is still very much alive...

To all my friends who wished that I'd not return from J&K [ 4 and counting] , I'm extremely sorry.
Well I'm back, and have lots to tell.
For starters, the reason why I was there , was to attend a national convention of SPIC MACAY.There were 10 of us, 5 boys and 5 of the chromosomally challenged types....
The unusual part os this journey was that the journey was longer than the stay, so we ended up inventing crap like Phase 1, 2, 3[ degree of boredom], arbit antakshari [start a song with any letter other than intended]. The Bolly-Tolly-Sandal-Tamil wood song database was thoroughly exhausted, to an extent that only the dreaded Himesh Reshammiya-Songs [ for lack of a better word], were left.
Boarded in Bangalore..Friends[ Sha, chappar, Soma, Srik] coming to send us off.. Well two surprise add-ons to our list of extra-ordinary travelers, was a welcome change.
So via the capital [ a much needed recharge point, cells and humans alike], we managed to board the Shalimar express to Jammu.The fellow SpicMacayiites were here[ including Kiran]. Jakra managed a hit [ IITG, if I'm not mistaken].
So on that fine morning we land at Jammu University, with excitement in our eyes, and wierd smells elsewhere.[ Three days.. not much for me, but an eternity for some].
The univ is beautifully set in the middle of the city, a lush green campus, with arbitly skewed buildings/departments,well set roads, and lots of history to draw upon [ I swear , I was not paid for this].
So Vivekananda Hostels for the baays, and Chandrabagha for others....A decent place to stay...
Cuisines served at the Gymnasium.... Decent food.
Jammu's people are really nice, especially the ones at the univ, met really friendly people here.
Me signed up for an intensive[ a.k.a workshop] titled Sankhavadyam, fooled by a keralian sounding name with images of sankhas, and mridangams floating about, made myself co-ordinator, etc etc, but I'm glad I made the mistake.How else could I meet such a brilliant man as Purushottam Muni Ji, a expert in his art, and a person who has taken heavily from the cup of life.How else could I make awesome friends, like Harikrishna, Rajesh, Poorva, and of course Jarul....
Dwelling a bit more into my intensive, this is a folk art from Orissa, has three major parts called, shankhabadan, ranapa, and chadeya. These artists could blow a conch for 20-30 minutes at a stretch, could dance and perform acrobatics on stilts, and perform a graceful dance. We could manage a 20 second squeal of a sound, couldn' t even stand on the stilts, and finished with what was perceived by the public to be a really good dance, and we were kinda happy that we did not create any major goof-ups. I even managed to give an interview to ETv Oriya regarding this,from an audience perspective.
About the concerts, I've lots to tell, since I'll cherish someof them forever. For the first time, I got to see, Balamurali Krishna , his youthful nature only enhances his musical magic[ he loves the tag 'bala' ]. Shiv Kumar Sharma, the first time I heard him in Jaipur, I was spell bound, this time was even better. The pristine purity of Santoor's music, coupling with Panditji's brilliant expertise of the instrument, makes it one of my best musical experiences.
The overnight was truly great. We were handling backstage, hence got to meet lots of artists in person[ giving them tea n stuff, still, in the presence of masters....], Concerts starting with the legendary T.N Krishnan on Violin, later Ustd.Rashid Khan Saab[ 99 not out] with a khayal rendition, followed by the vocalist extra-ordinaire T.M. Krishna[ His book with Bombay Jayashree- "Voices Within" , is out on the stands, Buy a copy today].The next was the pick of the lot. The concert by Ustd. Shahid Parvez, on the sitar, mesmerized everyone.
As George Harrison of the Beatles' Fame once said on his tour to India," The Sitar is equivalent to a 11 member Cello Orchestra",It carries with it such amazing complexity, and only a true master can explore the instrument to the extent that we saw that day.Despite some grievances that he faced, as a result of negligent behaviour on the organizers part, on our part, He kept all that aside, and his performance was beyond par.
Next came the Chupa Rustum concert. We had all seen the list before, and Venkatesh Kumar- Hindustani Vocal, seemed an arbit choice.Here was a singer from Bellary[ Yes, Karnataka...], whom none of us had even heard of. But we soon were to realize that our ignorance knows no bounds...I'd the opportunity to interact with him, he was happy that he got a Kannadiga to speak to.I was amazed at this great artist's humbleness..
Here is the situation, It's neary 5 in the morning, half the auditorium is asleep, quarter of it is empty. and the rest are wondering which of the above options to choose from.Here comes this man, manages to instill the fervour within the rasiks in the crowd, to an extent that people can perceive the artist-rasik connection happening with each stage of the alaap, and by the end, people are glad they stayed back, and could witness this stupendous performance. Such was the intensity of the fan-following , that few Reporters and others came backstage to contact the artist, and he was more than happy to oblige.The joy on the faces of the fans told the story.
That was the end of the saga, in Jammu Univ.. Bid farewells to new found friends,took some arbit campus pics, and planned half a day of sightseeing.
Rain played spoil-sport, still we mustered our spirits, and set out in search of the famous Raghunath temple.The temple was an architectural novelty from what I'd heard. This temple had been under attack some years back. Set in the midst of the city [ the markets grew around the temple , ob], this temple has the kinda structure that can be witnessed throughout North India. A pyramidal Gopuram, with a dual pradakshina circle, usually square like, and the sanctum sanctorum with brightly coloured stone idols.
What was unprecedented was the security[ there were people with submachine guns on the temple roof], as well as the nature of blatant commercialism that has covered the premises.Guaranteed money offered you individual attention to the Great Lord, and a free arbit garland, but still, there are limits to which you test people.Adding to that are temple rooms for every Hindu God on the planet that merits a dakshinam, and a purohit seated for the transaction.Finally somewhere people would Yield [ : ) ] .
I was bleeped at by most of my friends for doing an extra round, it was certainly not out of devotion[ God or Goddess[ : ) , ok a bit here ] , but just pure inquisitive bliss.
Just when we thought we were swindled enough already, we came out and saw what the Jammu markets had to offer. I'd a great vision in mind. Will take some dry fruits, [ walnuts etc], and would be given a grand welcome back home, for this amazing foresight. I was blasted outright. 2 kgs of Akroots take ages to break, and it's frankly not worth the effort. I'm sure my friends would share the feeling.[ I'm sorry for the brilliant recommendation......]
The train journey back was a bit gloomy, but has to be one of my best train trips ever.The Jammu Tawi from Jammu to Chennai, probably one of the longest train trips I'll ever make,was one of the most peaceful trips too. Arbit pics, senti moments, and Jakra taking pics with future to-be celebs. Here I tried to mock Bernoulli by trying to take a pic of a moving train, somewhat Ghulam ishtyle, and having narrowly missed the pic, and moreso being squished into pulp, have to thank Jakra immensely.

The journey from chennai to Bangalore, on the really long train-bus, was memorable for it's own reasons.People suddenly finding irresistible attraction to the foot-board, and then being scolded at by the TC.This was a really senti-ful journey, with a really melodramatic end. With infinite Post-it's at hand, we created an instant autograph book/ send off gift/ crown to Jakra.
No NITKian send off is incomplete with a kick to the posterior[ make an excuse in my case], and so in the middle of K.R.Puram station, Jakra was given a sounding farewell.

Some highlights of the trip:-

Vk flaunting his Walkman phone, almost all our phones going kaput in Jammu, Amazing Concerts, People desperately trying to collect contacts to boost some fictional ++ ratings, Mech rocks, L[ with a wierd hand sign], Jammu Kashmir- A Boring play with a wierd neck twisting dance manoeuvre, Raghunath Temple [ Apparently Tirupati's not the only temple which shaves] , Jammu university, Indian Railways, New friends, Old arbits, Shocking taps, Do not spit- DNS, Mental Manja- a.ka Mangal moortie., Some flings+crushings[ : ) ], NITK Surathkal being bestowed the best chapter in all categories that exist, and so on and so forth.

To people who've managed to stay awake so far, to people who came along with me, to
Jakra, to the people of Jammu, to friends, to people who managed to land on my blog due to some wierd cosmic catastrophe, Here's me signing off..
Cheerio. Adios,Astalavista...etc etc....

P.S:- Fellow tripsters included Vinayak, Anup, Kartik.J, Saranya, Mahima, Asha, Surabhi, Revathi, Madhava.

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Allen Poe to the Rescue

The first time I heard Edgar Allen Poe's name was when I met the boy-genius Sunil Pai [ a.k.a Pi ] during one of our "interaction" sessions with the then final years, in the final block of NITK.

All I knew was that E.A.P was a O.H.P[ Over -head ] kinda author, with fantastic poems and stories to his credit, that only people like boy-geniuses mentioned above could comprehend... I'm happy that I was wrong..He reaches out to mere mortals like us too, though the effect might be a bit less. The highs that you get by reading his works are beyond comparison.

'My experiments with Poe' began recently, with his works rather[ : -) ].
This man is an absolute genius, with a command over the language to entice any literature lover, creating macabre tales, short stories, poems with equal ease.The style is succint when needed , and intricately descriptive otherwise, beautifully drawing allusions, and precise use of metaphors, thus illuminating or in some cases intensifying the very essence of that section of the plot.
Considered by many to be the creator of Science-Fiction genre, he has touched many genres, like horror, a bit of philosophy, you name it...

I started out with "The Black Cat and other stories".My journey starts with
"The Black Cat" , This is about an anonymous author, telling his transition from the normal, to a state of utter perverseness. Perverseness is a recurring theme with Poe, and he uses this primitive expression of man, as a tool to explore the extents of Human Behaviour. The cat is used first as an object of affection, an intense obsession, then moves to a state of annoyance, utmost irritation, ultimately the contempt for the " brute", as he calls it is beautifully rendered.

Poe , through an imaginary author, the narrator of this story describes the horrendous violence that he inflicts upon the poor creature, and the way he relishes it , the instant gratification that he gets out of it, the manner in which he savours those moments are told in great detail. A plot that is necessary for a short story, it is crisp and quick, yet making the reader stop and think for a moment the horror that is man...

I'm browsing through some more of this Genius's Master-Piece works. Reviews , when I enjoy them and understand them in the manner in which Poe wanted to express himself
[ Will take a long time, I assure you].

And - Pi, Those photos were awesome... Book - Con eh.... lucky chap...

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Fill Out CAPTCHAs, Digitize Books At The Same Time

For the uninitiated CAPTCHA is user input verification technology, an acronymn for
" Completely Automated Public Turing test " to tell "Computers and Humans Apart ", designed by the Carnegie Mellon university. Now what this complex test does is really quite simple. The task of the computer is to create a verification test, for which it knows the answer[ hence can verify], but cannot solve it on it's own. So,because a computer cannot solve the test, any correct response automatically
qualifies the client to be human[ in the physical sense, not ethical, moral and all that ].
One of the earliest uses that I remember was verification of genuineness of users while creating e-mail accounts. People using Yahoo might recollect.This was to stop a sudden rush of bots creating fake email accounts, for spammingetc. There was a small "thank you" to CMU also.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/69/Captcha.jpg
An example of a text image, used as a CAPTCHA.
These have always been an accessory to the current password verification schemes.

Now for the central issue of this article. A recent post in Network world involved a awesome idea from a tech-writer called AlphaDoggs. The article can be read here.
It discusses the idea of using CAPTCHA's as a tool to digitize the vast sources of information that lies buried in our books. Sure , Google Books is doing a wonderful job.[ Recently they announced that they'd be scanning 800,000 Mysore university books for free( all gimmicks aside, this still is wonderful) ].
Before I wander off again [ Damn you Google, why are you so GooD?],
this project is the brain- child of a professor from Carnegie Mellon University [ this is kinda repetitive, monopoly I guess] . What he plans is on the lines of the SetiProject, Wikipedia etc..
Now, people got to fill captchas right.? Now instead of filling random computer generated data, why not give images from scanned OCR docs, that couldn't be recognized easily by the OCR algorithm. Luis von Ahn, is the man behind this. Hat's off, Ol' Dude.
In his own words," Instead of requiring visitors to retype random numbers and letters, they would retype text that otherwise is difficult for the optical character recognition systems to decipher when being used to digitize books and other printed materials. The translated text would then go toward the digitization of the printed material on behalf of the Internet Archive project " . Now this is really interesting,
I might be actually involved in a project translating Milton, Shakespeare, or even Gandhi [ji] for that matter.In my own small way,[ two words at a time], I'm part of a group , a community that devotes nearly
150,000 man-hours a day [ 60 million captcha's per day, you do the math], for digitizing age-old archives.If it'll not create new content, atleast it can be used to verify existing OCR'd stuff, and correct their mistakes.
This project is called Re-captcha[ how creative?] . You can be a part of it. Some of the immediate applications, even if you are not Yahoo, Google [ not again] , Intel etc, would be...

1. Email Address hiding. Prevents automatic web-crawlers from scanning email-id's. Sure some of you wizards might type dumbfool[at]dumbdomain[dot]com, but seriously ,
man that's two strcmp's away from decoding.
An example would be this.
Here's my email address, seemingly hidden in plain-sight. Click on the link and see what happens.
abhi...@gmail.com
[ If you've actually managed to read this far, please drop me a mail, after decoding my address]
2. Web-address spoofing [ not in the phishing sense] , just an innovative alias,
to keep bots and pesky servers away
3. Any means of verification, and some fun too [ I might get a chuckle from fellow cryptographic, turing machine enthusiasts here]

By the way, all you wordpress people, there are plugins already, Grab them.
There is also an audio version coming up for blind people.[ So if you are blind, and you are not reading this , then you'll have to wait]

Queries , can be asked at the email address mentioned above. I know , some of you might have an interesting obvious doubt. I choose to answer people who have Re-CAptcha'd my test.

P.S [ The 'B' will be leavin our college next month :( ] :-
Re-captcha is free, so you might want to put it up on your site.I don't have a friggin' clue what you'll verify, but just for kicks, try it.......

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Poetry in (loose) Motion

Life@NITK apart from other things, has added a new weapon in my armour, a new arrow in my quiver so as to speak.I'm talking about poetry of-course.
My alpha-testing of extempore humour poetry initially started off as a cheap way to mimic the awesomely talented "Whose Line is it Anyway " guys, and their superb Hoe-downs.
But then, owing to our esteemed faculty, especially the non-department ones, I've had a chance to hone my skills. With that faltoo phone in my hand,right in the middle of the class ( ok front bench-to be specific),I've succeded in creating limericks ad-lib.And guess what, most of them were actually good. A few samples some time later.
But now to the essence of this post, off-late I've been trying my hand at other things( ok folks , don't get perverted ideas now). I'm referring to a more serious variety of verse.What peeeple call "Poetry".
With two poems already, I'm growing strong. With esteemed critics supporting me
{ Takaal, Vk, and most importantly an experienced poet by the name of Rajaram Ramachandran[ this chap is 76 years old] } I'm hoping that creative juices will continue to flow , and create master-pieces, that generations will cherish for-ever. Ok, lets not get hopes too high.
Look out William Wordsworth. Here I come.
Let's see if my Words are Worthy enough. [ Pun definitely intended ]

P.S:- Check out my poems at Poem-Hunter
http://www.poemhunter.com/abhishek-upadhya/
Any comments, honours, awards,
(AND-OR) insults, "constructive-criticisms", kick-in-the-groin are most welcome.

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